Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Christmas ain't no holiday!




This, I was informed of by the school secretary in the faculty room during lunch. She began to rail on about how some party or other at the school had had its title changed from "Christmas Party" to "Holiday Party" and she was upset about it.

She didn't get far - I knew a "we need to put Christ back in Christmas" was coming - as I casually inquired, "doesn't holiday mean 'holy day'?"

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

More than one way to school 'em!


Earlier in the year, I got in trouble for twice arriving 5 min. late. I refuse to content myself with a diet of pasta and catsup, so naturally I decided I should better arrive early. The result of this was me sitting in an empty class for 10 min. staring at the very person who denounced me as she widdle away at her computer. In an effort to get even, I began tapping my foot, zipping and unzipping my bag, clucking my tounge, all to no avail. I stepped outside to get some fresh air and the pigeon-students swarmed my position - "HOLA, HOLA!" they shouted. Holy shit, get away from me, and I've never even taught you 'hola'. STOP SAYING THAT! Know you nothing of the proper protocols for addressing and greeting your superiors!? What's this I see? A soccer ball! Salvation at last! I was lucky enough to be invited into a passing triangle with two of my 3rd graders and since then my left pass has gotten significantly better in a short amount of time.

During my break, rather than waste away in the office that has no windows, I've been heading out onto the pitch to join the students in their recess, schooling them properly.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The argue method


this is exactly what I have the kids do: argue.

It's sunny out.

No, it's not sunny out.

Yes, it's sunny out.

They have a good time screaming their heads off.

Although I'm not so sure the other teachers appreciate this.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

No pissing in the sink.


This, I was reminded at the show.

I got in trouble. I got in trouble a few times. I got in trouble for pissing from one urinal to the other when I was 8 years old. It was a long urinal. It was more like a trough. I pissed from one trough to the other, long ways. I don't remember how I got caught.

Catholic school is kinda like that.

Don't piss in funny places. Just do what they tell you and you'll be alright.